POLES, HOLES,
AND THE
INEFFECTIVENESS OF INTERCOURSE

The Penis Size Issue Revisited

            Currently there is a lot of emphasis and a lot of junk mail on the topic of penis size. “Add 3 inches,” the e-mails guarantee. This, it is claimed, can be accomplished by taking a pill, using a pump, or doing an exercise. However, there is not one shred of scientific or clinical evidence that any of these things really work! A man can no more change the size of his schlong than he can the size of his nose. The emphasis on penis size does accomplish a number of things, however: It makes a lot of men feel inferior. It gives a lot of false hope. It costs some men a lot of money, and it makes a fortune for the makers of those “magical” pumps, pills and other expensive but useless products.
            Bigger better, fatter best? Is all a matter of preference and fit. Vaginas, like penises and ears and every other body part, come in a variety of shapes and sizes. The average non-aroused vagina is only about three and a half inches deep. Remember, a gynecologist can touch a cervix with his or her finger. There is about a half inch beyond the cervix (the "cul de sac" called the fornix). See the cross section diagram of the female sexual anatomy.

female sexual anatomy

            As a woman becomes aroused, her vagina will lubricate, open up, and extend, but when aroused it lengthens by no more than an additional half inch. The vagina, however, is quite elastic and stretches, although every woman has a threshold beyond which she will begin to experience pain. The average erection is about 6 inches long. Bigger than average is not always better. It is all a matter of fit, and the misfits come when a vagina or penis is small or a vagina or penis is big and the corresponding part of the partner is at the opposite end of the continuum.
            Some women love big penises and some women avoid them like the plague, but there is a good fit for just about everyone. All too often, however, it is not until after a one night stand that one decides he or she does not want to repeat the encounter. It also happens, however,  that a couple does not discover their mismatch until they have become emotionally involved. By then the super excitement inherent in a new relationship has worn off, and it is easier to evaluate the quality of the fit.
            Some women believe they are not reaching orgasm during intercourse because of the small size of their partner’s erection, and some men believe they are not ejaculating because of the large size of their partner’s vagina. Statistically, however, the majority of women never reach orgasm during intercourse and the majority of men could bang their erections on a tree stump and still come! Intercourse works very well for most men, but it is far less effective for most women. Most women know what works and does not work for them, and a woman who is orgasmic during intercourse is likely to think that all women should get off that way. Women with a big partner might think all women would do better with a big partner. Even if that were true, there would not be enough big men to go around, and the man with smaller penises cannot change them!
            Without worrying about penis size, there are ways to increase the likelihood of a woman reaching orgasm during penile/vaginal thrusting. Most women have far greater sensitivity in their clitoris than they do in their G Spot and certainly more than in their cervix (if they still have one). The act of intercourse will not bring 65% of all orgasmic women to orgasm because in most positions there just is not enough clitoral stimulation. The missionary position, with the man down low between the women’s legs, gives him a straight shot into the vaginal opening . . . but the woman’s clitoris is a half inch, more or less, above that heavenly portal.



            The suggestions for increasing a woman’s potential for orgasms during of intercourse are found on this site in the article titled “Simultaneous Orgasms.” These can also be found in the book Pathways to Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide to Orgasm.

© 2004  Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., Certified Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator    
(Retired Marital & Sex Therapist)
Questions, comments or different perspectives, write to Dr. Birch at oralcaress@aol.com.

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