On page 34 of the 1996 book Oral Caress, and within a section that graphically illustrates the uniqueness of each woman's sexual anatomy, Dr. Birch writes:"Verbal directions that change the focus of stimulation even a quarter of an inch can mean the difference between a fantastic orgasm and a sleepless night with an unresolved pelvic ache. Those who truly want to satisfy their women should forget all the 'how-to' books and abandon the ego trip of trying to come across as a 'sexpert' (sex expert). Forget all the preferences of previous women in your life and learn anew from your present partner. Find out what she has learned about her own uniqueness and closely follow her directions. If you give her the lead, she'll probably ask you back for more!"On page 90, in a section titled "Don't Forget the Other Oral Sex," this sexologist advises:
"Talking about the wonderful sights, textures, tastes and aromas of your lover must be included in any oral sex adventure. Verbally, you can talk dirty about animal pleasures or, if preferred, speak delicately of a sensual spiritual moment. Non-verbally, it is great to moan with the pleasure of giving pleasure or to moan in harmony with the sounds of the appreciative receiver of your lingual gift."
In the 1997 book by Dr. Birch, entitled Male Sexual Endurance, Dr. Birch draws on 35 years of experience as a marital and sex therapist and writes:
"Sexuality without sensuality, touch void of passion and sex simply for the sake of an orgasm follow a primitive hardwired program, but are hollow human experiences. Emotional detachment, fear of intimacy, lack of knowledge, and inability to communicate rob the sexual encounter of its richness. Before beginning to work on mechanical sexual techniques, positions or endurance, perfect your ability to touch your partner in an intimate way; with your hands, with your words and with your heart."
In Pathways to Pleasure published in 2000 and coauthored with Sexuality Counselor Cynthia Ruberg, Dr. Birch quotes Stephen Jay Gould, an American geologist and writer, who in his 1991 book Bully for Brontosaurus wrote:
"As women have known since the dawn of our time, the primary site for stimulation to orgasm centers on the clitoris. The revolution unleashed by the Kinsey Report of 1953 has, by now, made this information available to men who, for whatever reason, had not figured it out for themselves by the more obvious routes of experience and sensitivity."
On page 61 of the book by Birch and Ruberg, in a section titled THINGS TO TELL YOUR PARTNER, the authors wrote:
"Not all men have figured it out on their own and many have not heard (or believed) the available information. Some men still need to be educated by the true experts - the women in their lives. In doing so, it is important that a women share information in the best possible way. It is much more enticingand instructive, for example, if she whispers something like 'That feels good, but what I like even better is...' Think of the difference between saying, 'You're in the wrong spot,' versus 'That's okay, but it would really feel good if you would move down just a bit." And then the confirmation. 'Yes, that's the spot. I love it when you gently rub me there.' And then the fine tuning, 'Little circles are nice.' Information should be conveyed in a way that does not cause hurt or defensiveness. Be vocal, but in doing so, stay positive. Remember, it is not just what you tell, but how you tell him!"
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